Wonderfully Imperfect

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i am a woman on the edge -- on the edge of greatness, of mania, and of wonder and amazement, all at the same time.

i am an artist and a corporate refugee, who has struggled and derailed and been really STUCK....and who continually dusts herself off.

here i share my artistic and personal journey, and how i became known as the "princess of getting up again" and the "imp-ress of imperfection."

it's a celebration of continually focusing on "being where i am," and never coming from a place of lack or "not good enough". it's a celebration of being "wonderfully imperfect", and you're invited!

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"Shoulding" on Yourself

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Giving Permission

(A little more on feeling fraudulent, lol!)

I find I am my toughest critic.
I’m often sought out by friends and family to “bounce things around” with them when they are going though a tough time or sorting out the mysteries of their little (or large) universes.

Sometimes I hear them say, “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “I’m sorry”, when they’re feeling ashamed of what they want or think or have done. (BOY, ARE WE GOOD AT APOLOGIZING OR WHAT???!)

One of the things that I am really GREAT at is “giving permission”. So instead of “shoulding on themselves”, I tell folks it’s Ok for them to feel whatever they’re feeling.

(Heck, it’s hard enough to be honest with yourself about WHAT you’re feeling, half the time! You need to
GIVE YOURSELVE CREDIT for going deep—many people are too scared to even try.

I think they’re afraid of what they’ll find.)

Yet for all my empathy and listening skills.......I absolutely SUCK at giving permission to ME.

I guess I attribute it to being brought up as an over-achiever, where I SHOULD do such-and-such and SHOULD have such-and-such, and...well you know the drill.

Where do I get off? How come I can find understanding and compassion for everyone else, but kick my own ass off the island??

One of my toughest challenges is MINDING MY MIND. Not dwelling about the past.

Learning from it, yes. Revisiting it, in all it’s painful glory and idiocy, yes! But not allowing myself to roll around in
victim-ness. Forgiving myself.

(And recognizing that once in a while, I deliberately let my Evil Twin out!)

What I’m dwelling on, today:

“To understand our past mistakes and to neutralize the feeling of shame or guilt over our past inadequacies, we must understand that the acts we commit are neither good nor bad but are only wise or unwise depending upon our particular awareness at that time.”

Thomas D. Willhite, “Living Synergistically"

Posted by Nancy Vittoria Bello on 04/20 at 09:30 AM
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