Wonderfully Imperfect

About This Site

i am a woman on the edge -- on the edge of greatness, of mania, and of wonder and amazement, all at the same time.

i am an artist and a corporate refugee, who has struggled and derailed and been really STUCK....and who continually dusts herself off.

here i share my artistic and personal journey, and how i became known as the "princess of getting up again" and the "imp-ress of imperfection"

it's a celebration of continually focusing on "being where i am," and never coming from a place of lack or "not good enough". it's a celebration of being "wonderfully imperfect", and you're invited!

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Previous entry: The Past and Ex's PART TWO

Pain and Pleasure

i started this blog
as a way to release

i’ve had kind of an interesting life
(or so i’m told, whenever i’ve taken the time to share it)

i always said i never wanted to be bored
(FUNNY HOW GOD CHOSE TO PUT THAT PRAYER AS A PRIORITY!!)

i don’t have a ton of friends locally anymore

i’m realizing that i really used to have “work aquaintances”,
and a couple of good friends
but those have moved away, in recent years
leaving me, i must admit, a little isolated

i grew up in a home
that encouraged introspection and being alone
(ah yes....academia + dystunction + alcoholism
leads to a lot of closed doors)

i’m often closer to online friends
than the ones i smile at, face to face,
as i run into them at the drycleaners

i’m working on breaking those barriers down,
cuz i KNOW i’m the one who put them up

still, there’s things that happened
that seems like long ago
that shaped me
and that i LET shape me

and if you didn’t know me back then
you’d never know

i keep em buried
i bring em out once in a while
(like trotting out a poodle for show)

when i think it’s safe

AND IT’S TIME

i can feel it:
they’ve sat long enough
heck, i’ve sat long enough

when i share, i find i give voice
to others,
who think they’re weird
or warped
or disfigured and damaged

*****

yes, it’s painful to GO BACK
but at the same time
it’s cathartic
I NEED TO REMEMBER SOME THINGS I BURIED
I NEED TO RECONNECT WITH PIECES OF ME THAT I’VE LOST
I NEED TO FEEL, EVEN IF IT HURTS

i cried earlier today
revisiting the past,
reliving MY hurts as i heard my friend’s tears

sometimes it’s not what happens
but HOW YOU REACT
and motherhood and STEP-MOTHERHOOD
was FREAKING TOUGH

that said
i love my stepkids
i think of them as my kids,
my own....
but i know there’s days
they could care less

sometimes it hurts to remember
today HURT LIKE HELL

but without remembering
i wouldn’t appreciate
the life i have
and the love that spills over

Posted by Nancy Vittoria Bello on 05/09 at 10:58 PM
Mom-ness & Step-Mom-ness • Rebirth and Other Journeys • (0) Comments • (2) Trackbacks • Permalink