Wonderfully Imperfect

Celebrating Imperfection (Why This Blog)

2006-06-16T13:35:00-08:00

Disregard the date, please! (I’m “bumping” this one to keep it at the top...)

We’re artists and wordsmiths,
watching the light and dark,
the struggle and the ease of our existence.

Aren’t you AMAZED by the big web we’ve woven?!!

I LOVE TO BE AMAZED!!!

I revel in the the correlation of the way we create art
and the way we create our lives.

I’m in love with the imperfections that make us “US"--
to me, that’s our ...PERFECTION.

Now, I didn’t always think so.

I’ve felt very out-of-the norm. Different. Not cool.
Definitely the stuff of “let’s vote-her-off-the-island.

I constantly heard (or felt) that I needed to be “fixed” or “work on” myself.

It took me a long time to realize
that I was wandering through my life, trying to “improve”,
and by doing so, not only setting myself up to fail-
but reinforcing, over and over again,
my lack of value and my inability to achieve what I wanted.

‘Cause if I needed to be “improved”— I must be “lacking”, right??
NOT!!!

I no longer buy into that.

I celebrate my imperfections.
Yes, I still struggle.
Yes, I get knocked down (often by myself!)
And boy, have I…

ENOUGH

2006-06-27T13:22:00-08:00

My friend Kristina shared something that ROCKED MY WORLD this morning:

HER friend, who is a sculptor and artist in her own right, said..." she would love to paint a room where every square inch, every chair, every window, in every color, had the word “Enough” written there. And that when people walked in, wouldn’t it be nice if that’s what they felt, that everything about them, everything in their lives was just “Enough".”

OH MAN, I WANNA DO THIS IN A BAD WAY!!!

Wish we weren’t workin on our living room, cuz my studio would be EMPTY in 2 minutes flat! (Ok, well make that about 282 minutes...cuz I got a LOTTA STUFF.)

But seriously - I love this!!

It’s so hard, for me and for most folks I know, to realize that we DO have enough.
That we’re GOOD ENOUGH!
THAT WE ROCK!

That we have enough stuff, enough resources, enough abilities...ENOUGH LOVE.

Then I wonder:

DO we HAVE ENOUGH LOVE in this world, a world of war and ______ (fill-in-the-blanks)??!

MAYBE WE DO...AND WE JUST DON’T CHOOSE TO SEE IT, OR TO RECOGNIZE IT.

What she shared SO ties in for me to another post I’d written about worrying about being
a good parent or a good ANYTHING:

http://www.wonderfullyimperfect.com/index.php/wimperfect/comments/we-have-everything-we-need/

“we have everything we…

LINKS (in progress!)

2006-06-18T14:26:00-08:00

I’m workin’ on a LINKS page....will be adding more things HERE until that’s done—..and YES I DO plan to organize them by category....

http://www.zurabeth.com/ My favourite Journaling Maven!
http://www.denisemihalik.com/ Photography, Muse Classes and More
http://www.stevepavlina.com/index.htm Oral Sex for Your Brain
http://square-peg-people.com/ Profiles of Folks You’d Like & Cool Books, Courses
http://www.flylady.com/ Organization with a gentle, loving HUG!
http://www.artellawordsandart.com/ Where I Found My Tribe
http://www.abraham-hicks.com/ Universal Laws and More
http://www.themuseisin.com/wordpress/ Jill Badonsky’s Blog
http://thedesertdaybyday.blogspot.com/ MB’s Desert Blog
http://www.reach-dabble-shine.com/ Motivation and Renewal..
and an Awesome Section of Weight Loss

ARTISTS I LOVE....
http://www.bonesigharts.com/
http://www.gailrussakov.com
http://www.ninabagley.com/info/inhome.asp

MORE ABOUT ME:
http://www.bellospazio.com What I Do for a Living
http://www.fauxmuse.com My Design Process and (To Come) Articles

The Coach ...or the "UN-Coach?"

2006-06-17T18:25:00-08:00

I’m getting burned out or turned off or just PUT OFF, somehow,
by COACHING MANIA.

Seems like everyone is a coach.
Which in theory, I accept --- many of us have skills of empathy and are able to help our friends
examine issues easier left UN-EXAMINED....

but yet I get turned off when I am “marketed to”.

Not only have many coaches jumped on the e-book and tele-class bandwagon,
but now I’m being inundated with notifications that they’ve teamed up
with SUCH AND SUCH BIG NAME MARKETER
OR WEB-PERSON
OR MEDIA PERSON.....

.....AND THEY HAVE A ONE STOP SOLUTION FOR ME!!

DANG IT, PEOPLE!! BACK OFF!!
I FEEL LIKE A NUMBER—THE NUMBER ON YOUR DOLLARS IN YOUR POCKET!!

I’m realizing that their behavior bothers me IN PART
because I’ve been hesitant to define MY OWN abilities as a coach --
frankly, I still struggle with the “WHO IS MY TRIBE” sorta thing
and whether or not I really WANT to hang out that shingle in a big way.

Maybe because I was raised in a family that valued academia above all else,
completing coaching programs without an advanced degree to go along
still seems kinda SMARMY.

YEAH I KNOW --- I’M A BITCH ABOUT THIS, I REALIZE!

…

I Love What Is

2006-06-15T17:09:01-08:00

i live in southern california,
the land of mc-mansions
and mc-gardens

when i say i’m workin in my garden,
it’s probably TINY TINY TINY
in comparison to many,

but my roses smell as sweet
and the birds sing this morning,
chirping to each other
in a way that tells me
they like it here, JUST FINE

i’m holding on to this moment
i’m loving what is:
my teeny house,
my undone garden,
ME

AIN’T LIFE GRAND?

Twirly Girl

2006-06-14T11:30:00-08:00

i am now officially a super-hero!

yes, it’s true

i had shared with friends a while back my thoughts
on our struggles and experiences with our collective dichotomies

we have these views of ourselves, when life goes well
and then these doubts and larger-than-life failings, when things go to hell
or we’re overly tired and over-committed

i call that a dichotomy ‘cause to me,
a dichotomy means being conflicted or having two sides

here is a definition:

DICHOTOMY

Etymology: Greek dichotomia, from dichotomos
1 : a division or the process of dividing into two especially
mutually exclusive or contradictory groups or entities
2 : the phase of the moon or an inferior planet in
which half its disk appears illuminated
3 a : BIFURCATION; especially : repeated bifurcation (as of a plant’s stem)
b : a system of branching in which the main axis forks repeatedly into two branches
c : branching of an ancestral line into two equal, diverging branches
4 : something with seemingly contradictory qualities

i see us all struggling with what we want to be
vs where we THINK we are

MAN, I JUST LOVE THIS: “the phase of the moon or an inferior
planet in which half its…

Growing Up Geeky!

2006-06-14T10:51:00-08:00

FIRST, some background:

i didn’t get to do a lot of girlie things growin up

i was brought up in the era of “natural” beauty:
YEAH, RIGHT.
tell that to someone trying to hide her acne
and feeling invisible behind glasses
(glasses were NOT cool like they are now!)

my efforts in femininity were often criticized by my family

i dont know why--
maybe they just thought it wasn’t important?
good grades were important
but not looks, or clothes or
anything fou fou-y

somehow the more they poo-poohed any value
of looking less geeky
of “fitting in” a bit

the more i wished for it!

no wonder that i cleaned houses
in order to buy my own clothes
mostly salvation army
and bonnie bell lip gloss from the five and dime

somehow i learned to apologize
for wanting anything beyond what i had
or for daring to think about my looks
or my figure
(what little they were)

it was like: don’t bother

i remember my first husband saying to me,
as we decided to join friends for dinner
“now don’t go getting all PRETTY”

like WHAT? don’t put on a…

Journal Candy...

2006-06-09T18:48:00-08:00

I really LOVE journaling and collage!

That is where this blog site will
tie in to my other blog site, http://www.fauxmuse.com......
as I actually have
collaged ENTIRE WALLS for clients
and of course
I do my own playing outside the lines

I’ve been reluctuant to share these, though!
My ~~crummy~~ reasons for procrastination:

(AHEM!)
Weren’t they too personal?
Isn’t everyone and his/her brother already doing collage…
and so why would they be interested in mine?
(I really do hate to regurgitate the same art form --
I think that’s why I never got into ATC’s.)

LIGHTNING BOLT!
My friend Ruth told me I am a candy-ass wimp and better get in gear!!

Actually she couched it in syrupy Southern words, much nicer than that --
BUT I GOT IT!!

OK, OK.....I’LL HOLLER WHEN THEY’RE HERE!

(love ya ruthie!! xxoo)

I hate being sick AGAIN

2006-06-06T09:41:00-08:00

I just wanna vent!

I’ve spent most of the past 2 months either being sicker than a dog, or fighting computer glitches.

I’ve had shingles, OVER AND OVER.

All of a sudden I’m able to sense when they’re coming on:
there’s a weird tast in my mouth,
a tingling, as my fever starts to kick in.

Sometimes it turns into shingles and others into (AGGGGH) fever blisters
where I’ve got these lovely blisters in my mouth and down my throat.

BUT THE WORST THING
is getting Several days of a worse-than-killer-flu-THANG
that KNOCKS ME ON MY BUTT
AND MAKES ME ABSO-FRIGGING-LUTELY WORTHLESS.

IT’S DRAG-MY-ASS-TO-THE-COUCH TIME,
drifting in and out of fever,
until my body decides it’s Ok -

And then, a few days later
(CAN WE HAVE SOME “JAWS” MUSIC, PLEASE?)
I’LL GET EM AGAIN!!!

Not ONLY am I cancelling everything I was SUPPOSED to be doing,
and either pissing people off BIGTIME, or sending them the message that I’M A FLAKE----

when I FINALLY get my butt back in gear,
it seems I’M EITHER STILL FIGHTING WITH SOME COMPUTER VIRUS
OR SOME GLITCH ON MY HARD DRIVE!

YEAH, I KNOW.......

I’m sure the Universe has some reason for all of this!! …

Broken-ness

2006-05-26T13:07:00-08:00

a friend shared recently about her “broken” family

i realized that although i came from a very dysfunctional home
(hey, didn’t we ALL?),
i never really thought of my family or myself as being “broken”
until my older sister died,
when i was in my early twenties.

the alcoholism, the learned behaviors of manipulation and lying
...feeling like an imposter....WHATEVER:
i knew where that came from, worked on it...still am…
...but just figured it was the usual “stuff” of life.

i loved my family and felt loved.

then my oldest sister died.
her death was the first of many,
but the most significant in our family,
if one can ever consider the idea of “prioritizing” multiple losses of that nature.

my mother never put up a christmas tree again.
never had a major family dinner or major gathering.
never opened the boxes of her things, sent to us by my brother-in-law.

somehow, it was the beginning of the end
and the undoing of an already fractured family.
we were all adults,
but each began “acting out” in various ways.

add to it a few major illnesses and breakdowns, losses and events,
plus some more deaths along the way,
and it became not a…